Conversations held in kindness is the way to learn and receive.

I like how the world is changing.

Most see change as hard.

I believe it is as hard as you want to make it.

After the metamorphosis is complete you get to see the beauty of the change something you can never see in the middle of it. And once you do, 9 times out of 10 you wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

That is the question I posed on myself after I hung up the phone with; well…let’s just say someone I will categorize as ‘being slightly ignorant to the Black Lives Matter movement that is happening this country.’

Now, I am going to give you context. I have never seen this individual however, I don’t think he is black. He is also one of the managers of my case. (I was involved in a car accident). He has influence over my case which also gave me pause to reacting to his insensitive comment.

He had mentioned once that his wife is of Spanish descent. Besides, that one conversation, race was never a topic.

It wasn’t a factor. If you are black it is always a factor.

I am black. If you met me; you would know that. However, if you only had spoken with me on the phone you would be picturing me a ‘Valley Girl’ from the classic Nicolas Cage movie from the 80’s.

True story. It’s happened to me sooooooo many times.

I memorized some random towns in California because I was asked what part of California I was from constantly.

I was born and raised in Connecticut to a Trinidadian mother who spoke the Queen’s English.

Her children speaking, just any kind of way, was not happening.

So…Her children speak the Queen’s English, with an American accent. (sometimes a fake British accent for fun. I see you Dorit from the RHOBH)

Okay now that you have context. Let’s get back to the story.

On the day the #BLM protest began. I had was having a conversation with this gentleman and he asked me, “If I was ‘out there limping around protesting’?”

More context. The car accident left me knee injury, that I am currently recovering from. That is where the limping comes in.

I took pause after he said those words. Even laughing it off during that phone call.

All the while thinking, I need time to process.

I wasn’t sure if I should make him aware of his insensitive comment because he is one of the managers on my case.

I also needed to process what was happening in the world.

And most importantly, I needed time to process having yet again another conversation with my son.

I needed to process this movement as a mother of a black son.

I needed a moment to process this as a Black Women.

I was fortunate enough to have to speak with that gentleman for about a week.

I was glad for the time to work out my feelings.

A week went by and I was able to find my words, understand my emotions about this situation.

A week went by and I was able to now speak to this man with kindness.

And that is exactly what I did. I brought it up right away and he was very receptive. I informed him about his insensitive comment. We had an open conversation of why I felt that way and why he thought it was okay to make such a joke. It was a great conversation because of the mutual respect that we have for each other. It was good that we could finally see where each other was coming from and He was thankful. He hadn’t realized the impact of his insensitivity.

I am happy to say he has learned something.

I also learned something.

Before, I probably would have stayed silent. I would have brushed it off. Because that is how I WAS programmed. Programmed to just get by.

No more.

This 2020 #BLM has reminded me that I am worthy.

Racism awareness conversations can and are being with the intent of kindness.

With an intend of understanding.

I will be having those conversations with anyone who wants to share knowledge.

Conversations learn with word with the energy of love.

I love that we are remembering that we are all humans.

It’s amazing to see that we are remembering ‘We are all one’.

Thank you for letting me share.

Be kind. Be well. Smile!!!

T.J. Batts